Patience is required

Six months after my test, and after regular visits to get my paper version stamped again and again, I now have a smart, new Zambian driving licence. Amusingly it includes no driver restrictions, which means the need for wearing glasses somehow went unnoticed.

Kitchen party

Little by little I am slowing experiencing different bits of Zambia culture, though one thing that I did not expect to see or attend is a kitchen party which normally is a female only event. Luckily for me a friend asked if I would take some photos at her sister’s kitchen party so I was let in. We don’t really have an equivalent to the kitchen party back home and comparing it to a hen party would be misleading. The party I attended was women only but included friends, family, future family for the bride to be and children; all dressed in colourful outfits, some with matching headgear and many with new hairstyles. The guests bring presents to furnish the bride’s kitchen to get her ready for married life, which on this occasion included pots, pans, plates, cutlery, electrical items and a kitchen dresser for storing everything. Some parties where the friends and family have more money include giving cookers and fridges as presents.

Aside from the presents, culturally the kitchen party was fascinating to me because of how the bride has to behave. She cannot show any emotions, nor speak, during the party and spends the whole time staring, stony faced at her own feet. Her demeanour resembled that of a naughty school girl sent to wait outside the headmaster’s office. The bride was led into the party under cover of a chitenge, which only the groom is permitted to remove. Therefore, she had to sit covered, awaiting his arrival and on Saturday this waiting lasted around 45 minutes. He came, flowers in hand, to unveil his bride to be. They both then proceeded to hand out a few thank you presents to some of guests before the groom departed. After this came the food, speeches, readings and dancing. Each of the guests took their turn to hand over their presents and whisper some advice to the bride. During this process the bride barely moved and then only got up to be taken to inspect the larger presents like the kitchen dresser. Finally at the end of the party with the guests clustering around her for photos was the bride allowed to smile.

Allowances

Despite now being in Zambia over a year I can still find the allowance culture frustrating and annoying. In brief, rather than people making claims (at cost) for Government / Development related work allowances are given out which may cover things like transport, food and drink, accommodation, sitting or meeting attendance and so on. In principle this makes sense and is fairly easy to administer, but does lead to significant abuses. For example, there are occasions where senior officials will attend meetings when the allowance is deemed large enough (for their presence) but send juniors along when the amount is not enough, or only attend if there is a sitting allowance on offer. Similarly, people will go chasing allowances by seeking to be part of certain committees or as happened last year wanting to be part of the Census teams because of the sizable allowances available. I have been told that the forthcoming Presidential elections will be even worse. For many people allowances are being used to supplement their income which is either pretty meagre, or inconsistent in supply. However, more often than not it is the people who are already at the top of the food chain who then tuck into the large allowances.

None of this is unusual or unique to Zambia, and I know other volunteers could point to much worse, but hey one example just got a bit too much for me today sitting in my hot, sweaty Mazabuka office. An international organisation was using a couple of Zambian Government staff to collect some general information from Government bodies.  I was politely asked to go a nearby office to answer a few questions on HIV and AIDS. Afterwards and for my 30 second walk I was offered a transport allowance of ZMK50,000; approx £6.50 but a pretty decent amount here. Initially, I refused but was then informed by the visitors that returning with the money would be very awkward for them. So I relented, accepted the money, and will give it to Stella and family.   Rant over for now. 

Easter is the new Christmas

Never give up hope or good things come to those who wait. Either of these mottos could refer to waiting for the post to arrive out here as two parcels that had been long forgotten, and assumed lost somewhere in Africa, turned up this week; and only five months since they were first posted. The t-shirts were very welcome, the two books less so as they are now duplicates as their replacements came long ago but they will still be well received by friends. Sadly the waiting goes on for my Easter chocolates to arrive from home.

Nshima making night

Nshima is a strange white, almost mash potato like, substance which Zambian’s have a never ending appetite for eating. When it cools slightly after cooking the Nshima is moulded into palm sized balls using your hand for eating alongside meat or fish and some vegetables and beans. Nshima is a cooked porridge made from ground maize – using either breakfast meal maize which is very refined and starch like, or with roller meal which is less refined, maybe not as attractive presentation wise but with more nutrition so healthier. Both types are very filling. And the nshima even comes with its own special wooden stick. So the girls, and our neighbours Abigail and Ingrid, gave us a lesson on how to prepare nshima, expecting that we will take this tradition back to our home countries. It was tasty meal though if I ate it daily like a Zambian my weight would double.

   

Ode to the handkerchief

Back home you were much derided
Something for another generation and far from trendy

A point of amusement when used on British beaches
Not an item wanted to be found in my pocket
On this continent it is an essential part of my survival kit
The sun beats down at 40C on an October day
Every movement I make creates another drip of sweat running down my face
The handkerchief is the saviour
Ensuring I look half presentable arriving at meetings
Mopping up the waterfall of sweat on my red face
Never again will I consider you with such disdain.

Basically it is far too hot to work!

Sayings and interpretations

Now for something not quite as serious . . .

• This side, or that side (Zambian directions . . . but not always clear to where)
• Fine (everything is always fine)
• I speak from without and not from within, or I am speaking from within and not without (within means giving a personal opinion, whereas without is stating a fact as provided by someone else)
• Are we together (not a question, more a statement of agreement)
• Time is not with us (politely telling people please do all the tasks asked of you now as we are running out of time)
• He (or she) is within (the person is in the office, building or town)
• I am not late just delayed (my personal favourite so far as this is the apology offered when people arrive 1-2 hours late for a meeting)

Zambian customs #2 - The handshake

If you are greeting people from afar, who you are simply saying hello to rather than intending to speak to, then clasping your hands together on your chest and sometimes doing a mini clap is the way to go.

A much friendlier greeting which takes place in one movement starts by shaking someone’s hand, moving the hand upwards so you are almost shaking their thumb and then back to the handshaking. Sometimes this can be quite swift, though more often than not the last bit of the handshake continues whilst you are talking.

Tradition

Young and old come together under one roof; parents taking their children along though often the younger ones do not want to be there; the facilities may differ but there is always lost of passion, sweat and tears; shouting and screaming; people are there in good times and bad; lots of leaders but only one person is really in charge; smiles, cheering, friendliness, rhythm . . . Church at the weekend in Mazabuka (and the short session lasted for four hours!)

Zambian customs #1 - Clapping

Why applaud someone when a kilo will do? Rather than clapping people if the speech or presentation has been well received then Zambian’s will offer them a kilo. This involves three quick claps, followed by a further three quick claps and finished off with a single clap. Try it at your next meeting!